Some dreams seem to be very obvious God-dreams. They
contain something very profound, life changing perhaps. They have got God
stamped all over them.
Other dreams I call “cheese dreams”. Nothing profound
happens and they seem to be linked to something that happened at work. I assume that it’s just the way the brain
sorts out stuff from the day. They can be interesting, or not. They can leave a
bad cloud hanging over me in the morning, or not. Does the fact that I remember
them mean they are not true cheese dreams at all? Sometimes I sit down and pick
the dream apart looking for some kind of revelation. Sometimes there is vague
insight to be gleaned. Most of the time I put it down to cheese.
This morning I fell among dream interpreters. The
intention was a cup of tea with a friend and a handing over of the poetry
manuscript for book 2. She had offered to take a look at it and cast a poet’s
eye over it. I’m not looking for any
major overhauls of any of the poems, just a gut reaction about whether they
made the grade. I have a few poems waiting in the wings for last minute
evictions.
Another friend joined us. Apparently I was sort of gate
crashing their weekly dream interpretation meeting. The group was usually
bigger than just the two of them, but it is school holiday time and people
fluctuations were to be expected. It’s possible that it was just tea or coffee
on the menu with a break from the dream interpretation side of things – but I
tossed a cheese dream onto the table. I was expecting confirmation that it was
a cheese dream and no more.
It appears that cheese dreams don’t exist.
I’m not sure what I expected in terms of dream
interpretations. I think I was looking for eyes closed and silent prayer and a particular
connection to the heavenlies that I don’t possess. I was waiting for “I think
God is saying this…” Instead, they took out notebooks and asked probing
questions and drew spider diagrams. They went online to hunt down the meanings
of the names of the people in my dream. There were corresponding numbers and
related Bible verses to explore. They made interesting connections. It was very
different from what I had expected. Very thorough. Significant looks passed
between the two of them.
I thought it was all down to my insecurities at work. The
dream featured people at work being given slices of my responsibilities leaving
me lots of time and nothing to do. I was
being overlooked or passed by, or replaced by someone, who in all honesty I
felt knew nothing at all about how to do my job better than I could. In the
real world much of what I do has been cut down to a minimum and I often feel
like a spare part. I know that “they” said I was indispensable and
irreplaceable when “they” denied me voluntary redundancy, but that doesn’t mean
that I feel particularly valued at times.
I soon discovered as I answered questions and listened to
the conversation between the two ladies that unlocking dreams is not always as
obvious as it looks. Even if it is just about my insecurities at work, that
gives me something to bring before God to talk through and see His perspective.
My ladies were not content with that.
My boss, who in real life is so supportive, in my dream
showed little concern about my plight. After some research on his name and linking in
numbers and Bible verses they concluded that he could represent God. We all
have expectations about God and how He should act – yes, God is supportive. I
have been doing my own research into the faithfulness of God for a poem to be
included in the book. God is faithful to His purposes in my life not to my
purposes. Times when God wants to push me on to a deeper awareness or intimacy
can be uncomfortable times. He has begun something in me and He is determined
to see it to completion and doesn’t always get my full cooperation. God not
acting the way I expect Him to act is something I know in my head, but don’t always
embrace in my heart.
There was no dialogue in my dream just a one sided
commentary on how badly I thought I was being treated. I said things and no one answered. I expressed
my sense of betrayal and no one said anything. I thought my sense of betrayal
was significant. My dream interpreters thought otherwise. The fact that there
had been no dialogue about it meant it might not be that important.
They didn’t come to a settled conclusion about the
meaning. They missed the usual crowd and the varied tossing of thoughts into
the pot. They agreed that despite the dream storyline there was a very positive
message coming out. There are, or have been, new beginnings. It could be work related, or church related
or Mel related. It could be specifically poetry related. They didn’t say hard
times are coming, strap yourself in. They did say God will show His grace and
mercy. And, of course, I should never doubt that God loves me.
What I really valued about the whole experience was the
permission granted to express my fears. Dream interpretation wasn’t something done
to me. In the context of trying to figure out what my dream meant there were
opportunities to look closely at some aspects of my life, to prod and poke
around my psyche in a safe environment. All my “negatives” were balanced out
with their “positives”.
So, yes, it may not be just about the dream
interpretation but providing that opportunity to really talk and explore the
hidden part of ourselves.
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