I have to admit to being just a little disappointed this
morning. I had hoped to see a labyrinth
out at Cawdor Castle, thinking they had just recently built it. There was a picture of it on the wall outside
the ticket booth. It turned out to be
the maze that has always been there, out of bounds because it’s made from holly
bushes and not designed for the tramping of hundreds of visitors’ feet.
Labyrinths and mazes are not the same thing! The words should not be interchangeable. A labyrinth has one way in and one path with
all its twists and turns. It’s a path to
walk, not a mystery to solve. A maze has
many entrances and many solutions.
“You enter a maze to lose yourself. You enter a labyrinth to find yourself” so it has been said.
One of the activities on the silent day retreat at
Kilravok Castle was a labyrinth. It had
been constructed with tent pegs and string into an elaborate path with lots of
turns. It is an effective way of slowing
down in life and taking time to stop, think and reflect at each turn. Too often life is lived at break-neck
speed. If we were all little cars on the
road of life, I imagine we would be screaming around corners at ninety miles an
hour.
The man that made the labyrinth talked about his experience
of one. He left all his belongings
outside when he entered. Having nothing
to give once he got to the centre of the labyrinth he felt that God was asking
him simply to give himself.
It sounds very new age, and not my scene – but then all
that day I had been doing things that were not my scene. Sometimes there are things that you do simply
because it may be the only chance you get to do it. If it just turned out to be a slow walk
around a hundred corners then so be it.
I didn’t enter the labyrinth empty handed although I
emptied my pockets of my coat. The
weather wasn’t warm enough to leave the coat on the bench. I took in a notebook and a pen. The writer in me didn’t demand a written blow
by blow account of what I thought about or prayed about at every turn of the
path but refused to leave them behind.
I had been reading a book earlier on in the day about the
need to silence the soul so that the spirit could follow God’s Holy Spirit
unhindered. I stopped at each turn for a
moment or two and stilled myself. I
wanted my mind not to do the work, but allow my spirit to listen and to hear
what God was saying.
I wish I could say that it was just a slow walk around a
hundred corners – but it wasn’t. It was
a path made of tent pegs and string and yet it was so much more. In my mind’s eye there were walls. As much as I could see other people walking
in other parts of the garden, it was as if I was alone. If I have doubts about whether I hear God or
not, it’s usually because I have an active imagination. I have a hard time sometimes distinguishing
between my inner chatterbox and God’s voice.
Not this time. My inner
chatterbox was silenced.
God talked a lot about me as a writer. He called me His storyteller. He told me that there is a story I want to tell
that isn’t my story but someone else’s story.
My story is my own. It is not
cobbled together from second hand experiences that other people have had. My
story is MY STORY. It is a story that is
unique to me. That’s the story He wants
to read.
He told me that my vocabulary needs to be extended. There are too many words that I avoid
using. There are many scenes that I
avoid writing because I avoid living them, or having lived them they hurt a lot
and iu would rather not display my scars.
He talked about His Living Word in me. There is power in words. Words brought creation into being. Words spoken on the cross brought curses to
an end. He has given me His gift of
words and with it the power to bring some things into being and bring other
things to an end.
Coming to the end of the journey, I happened to see two
leaves caught in a breeze. They spun
about the lawn, skipping and turning, swirling and dancing. It was as if one leaf was chasing the
other. It was a joyful chase.
My walk with God doesn’t often include delightful chases. Skipping and dancing are not words that I
would use.
But I am extending my vocabulary.
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